Calibrated and Synchronized
From Fall of 2010
Light weight jackets have finally come out to play in our home. Ben and I tossed open the windows to allow a cool, fall breeze to refresh our home. At night, when the temperature dips into the 50s or even 40s, we grab our jackets before heading out to campfires, go star gazing, planting bulbs, or Red Lobster with Pat. Upon returning home last night I noticed in my periphery that Ben and I doffed our jackets with almost precise synchronicity: first the right sleeve then the left. I realize that this coordinated movement is no award winning choreography piece performed by the Joffrey Ballet but this simple mirror image of myself in another person got me thinking about relationships, synchronicity, and connection.
When Ben and I were dating long distance (me in Minnesota and he in Chicago), we craved the normal everyday things you do in the presence of each other. We verbalized our desire for watching television together on a single couch, sharing Chinese take out, strolling around the block to get ice cream, or renting a movie. Phone conversations was a just-bear-able substitute for normal side by side activities. One evening, still in two separate states, we decided we would both tackle cleaning our rooms together. We set up our webcams so that they could view the width of the room and we began cleaning. Occasionally I looked over to the screenshot of Ben to discover that he was vacuuming at the same time as I was (only 400 miles away!). Later he was collapsing sheets over the bed just as I was tossing my sheets in the air. This made me smile.
Finding synchronicity with other people is what makes me most happy. I need at least one person who is tuned in to where I am at and vice versa. An out of sync relationship can wreck my brain. Here's the thing though: part of having a true connection with another person requires having your very own independent rhythm to start. It would be cheating if I was only copying someone else's movements and calling it "synchronized". The beauty of finding that you are connected with another person is knowing that you were doing your thing and they were doing their's and then suddenly, you were together rocking and rolling in the same direction.
Mirrored facial expressions, pedaling your bike to the same rotation as another also pedaling their bike, finding humor in the same joke, being inspired by a similar activity. I think of little, delicate, spidery strings connecting my mind or limbs to another person's mind and limbs in these very moments. When I witness one person stand during a worship service at church and then watch the entire congregation follow I am moved because it is one living and breathing connection between each individual in the church body and God. If I went all spiritual-meets-X-files I would say that in that moment, a million little spidery strings would be bursting from the heart of each person in the congregation and stretching all the way to where God lives. Connection synchronized to the beat of the kick drum that my own husband taps during a worship song in the front of the church with his foot steadily in rhythm.
* One of the challenges with switching to a new website last year (from www.twosmallmonsters.com) was that I worried about leaving behind some of my favorite pieces of writing spanning from 2003-2011. Second Hand Saturdays is a little attempt to pull forward and integrate some of my favorite pieces into astringofstories. For long time avid readers (think: 2004) like Kelly, Stef, and Agnes, they will just be repeats :o)
* One of the challenges with switching to a new website last year (from www.twosmallmonsters.com) was that I worried about leaving behind some of my favorite pieces of writing spanning from 2003-2011. Second Hand Saturdays is a little attempt to pull forward and integrate some of my favorite pieces into astringofstories. For long time avid readers (think: 2004) like Kelly, Stef, and Agnes, they will just be repeats :o)
I love this.
ReplyDeleteIt reminds me: As my mom and I were walking the halls of Northwestern Hospital, making our daily 7 rounds around the 15th floor for her exercise for the day, I realized we were walking in sync with each other. Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot, with the IV poll trailing on her left. Then I had to giggle to myself--- we were also wearing identical slippers, except hers were black and mine were brown.
Not nearly the same as finding random coordinated motions with your husband, but interesting to see how when you're close with another, you find yourself walking the same path, folding the same sheet, feeling the same emotion when that perfect worship song comes on. To make a stretch, it reminds me that we are created by the same Creator. We are connected. When trouble strikes, you don't have to travel the dark halls alone.
Happy New Year, Jenny.